How to lose 20 lbs overnight!

Have a baby.

I did and went from 158 to 138 in just one evening!

Ladies and Gentleman can I have your attention please?

This is from MY perspective which is the most accurate (up until I had to start pushing) even if times or conversations arn't exact.

Friday April 17th
8:45pm- I go to the bathroom and lose bladder control.
8:50pm- Complain to Nan that no one told me about this.
8:55pm- More loss of bladder control. I ask Nan about water breaking and all of that (she gives me some comment about how I'm not allowed to yet.)
9:00pm- I ask if she's sure. She say's that if it is my water it's leaking not breaking. We come to the conclusion that it is leaking so we call Cathy (my midwife) who heads out.
9:10pm- I call thePirate and we decide that he's to go right to bed and when Cathy comes we'll give him another call about how soon she thinks Matey is coming.

Saturday April 18th
3:00am- Cathy arrives and say's that things are still a ways away so to try and get some sleep and we'll look again in the morning. I call thePirate and tell him so he goes back to sleep and plans to head out in a couple of hours.
9:00am- I wake up and wander around for a bit, people are setting up the birthing tub and making sure they have everything. I seem to be un-needed so I go watch TV (the fugitive) for most the day.
1:00pm- I try to take a nap and it doesnt work.
3:00pm- Labor officially starts (ask Nan if you want to know why now, I think it's because my contractions were close enough/often enough to count?)
4:00pm- thePirate arrives! I give him kisses and we're told again that we ought to take a nap. So we try but neither of us can sleep.
6:00pm- I am offically bored and decide that I want to get into the tub now. Contractions are there but still nothing more than a bad menstral cramp.
6:15pm- I tell Cathy I want things sped up so she gives herb tinctures.
6:30pm- I have a TV brought in to were I am in the tub and thePirate and I watch A Muppets Christmas Carol. The contractions get worse through the movie but are still manageable with help from people squeezeing my little toes (It works try it next time).
8:00pm- thePirate wants to watch Fern Gully and I'm not really caring so in it goes. I don't recall really watching any of this one as contractions got worse and worse. They wern't unbearable but they did call for more assistance as people pushed on my lower back.

*at some point the movie ends and the TV gets shut down, the lights also get turned off and people start to talk quieter*

10:30ish- I want to push now. I don't feel a great need to but these contractions suck and I want to be done. I tell/ask Cathy and she checks me and say's I'm not at a 10 yet but if I want to I can do little baby pushes. After being checked I swear I'm not going to say anything again about pushing unless I REALLY feel like I need to.

11:ish- This time I do feel like pushing (although it's not a great need to but a definite feeling) and Cathy tells me I can if I want to without even checking me.

*the next hour and a half is spent with me in the tub not being able to push correctly. i can't tell the difference between what i'm doing when they say 'good job' and when they tell me to do it 'differently'*

Sunday April 19th

12:30am- Cathy makes me get out of my lovely tub because I'm not getting it right and has me sit on the birthing stool (Google Image it). To her credit I did feel a difference in how the pushing went after I got out of my lovely tub.

*for the next 20 min or so I push (the right way apparently) and feel as though my bum is going to explode. people tell me to stop yelling so i do (a miscommunication- they were telling me to put all my energy into the pushing which at the time i took as a 'shut up' when they just wanted to remind me that i needed to concentrate on baby coming out, the screaming was fine.*

12:45am- I want to go to the hospital now. Well, I want the baby to be OUT now which is something that will obviously never happen at moms house. However I keep the comment to myself because I can feel internally where baby's head is and figure that with travel time Matey would come out before I got the hospital anyway.

12:50am- Let me set the stage for this one: I'm on the birthing stool with thePirate behind me supporting my back and saying things he thinks is encouraging into my ear. I'm not really sitting down but sort of squating with by back arched and resting up against the stools edge and thePirate. So thePirate is up by my head and Matey is at the other end, things are getting more exciting down where Matey's coming out and thePirate isn't going to miss seeing anything even if it means pushing me forward and craning over my body. It was the plan all along that he would catch Matey so I holler that someone needs to change places with thePirate and tell myself I ought not kill him.

1:05am- With a hearty push and what I can only describe as a 'pop' Matey gets his head out.

1:06am- Finally my body kicks in and without me doing anything theres another big push and the rest of Matey tumbles down into his daddy's arms.

*so i've been hovering for half an hour in labour my legs are shaking, my bottom isn't supported by anything and my hands are fused to the grips on the birthing stool and these people are trying to put a squirming mess into my lap! After a minute of 'take him'/'no YOU take him' he's handed off to thePirate and I'm helped to a position where I can safely hold Matey.*

1:15ish- after chilling out on the ground holding my sticky cutie baby (8lbs 2oz 20 1/2 in) someone takes him (grammy I think) and thePirate helps me up and to the bedroom. As we pass the couch I can feel that I'm getting light headed and am going to faint. I'm not freaked out I've fainted lots at FAR smaller things and so I sit on the edge of the couch and tell thePirate that I'm going to faint and then do (I've learned in past experiences that people like to be informed when someone's going to faint however the statement apparently never left my brain).

*i wake up eventually- it was apparently very traumatizing to those watching, my eyes stayed open and everything- and realize that people are looking highly upset although i'm feeling pretty good for having just fainted. They give me oxygen and check me out and stuff, after a false start it's declared that i'm not move from the couch until i can sit up straight without help and without fainting (an task that will take 2 and a half days for me to accomplish).

i'm just glad that i'm really not in a hospital cuz no way they'd let me leave there after doing all of this.

Matey is given to me at some point and he's a very good baby and latches right on and starts sucking away.

I spend the next couple of days on the couch then am moved to the bed then can move about entirely by myself.*

All in all labor lasted 10 hours, I pushed for 2 hours and thePirate got head butted twice and told to 'shut up' numerous times. It did not go how I had thought or expected (especially not getting the hang of pushing) or wanted to a certain extent however I am completely happy with my decision to have the baby at home and would not of had it in the hospital for anything.

Braxton Hicks

Apparently that's what it is... for yesterday and today and I don't like it. If somethings going to be happening then I want it to be baby coming out, not uncomfortable-ness with no reward.

It also makes me feel queasy when it's going on. I kinda feel like I have the flu or something. It's not fun. Can't sleep, tired, upset stomach, foggy head, aches...


I'm done. Now I just have to convince Matey that he is too.

Not looking my best...

Being away from thePirate is not good for my image. I was already not really ever wearing makeup before I left home but now... at least home I had a shower at least 4 times a week.

... I did laundry... at least my clothes are clean. That's something right?

Being away from home and thePirate I have just lost that last little bit of caring what I look like. Not that I dressed up or anything but... now I look so raggedy. Oh well. I guess it's a good thing that he's not here to see.

Heartburns

I don't think that I'm eating enough during the day here. It's not good. I continually find myself eating after 7:30pm and subsequently find myself having the most horrible heartburn during the night. 

At home I'd get heartburn but only this bad once (when I had eaten late) and it was only once, not three days in a row. Yesterday it occured to me that I needed to eat more earlier but apparently I failed because at 8pm last night I ate food and here I am at 5am not able to sleep from stomach acid pushing up my throat. 

I've been up since 4 and have taken stuff for it- the first things I took (herbs) did not work so I've taken something stronger (medicines)- and hopefully I'll be able to get back to sleep soon. 

Homesick and Vindication

It's very much different taking care of a cutie husband than it is taking care of older siblings and parents (taking care being cleaning up and making dinner ect.). I'm missing the freedom of my own house as well as thePirate and possibly even the fishies. 

Cathy (my midwife) always asks me if movement is "good" ... I don't know, Matey's my first baby- I continually think that he's trying to break out early so I always just respond that yes his movements "good". Well this prenatal Le checked Matey's position at the begining and he was ROP (on the right with his back to my back) and at the end (half an hour later) Cathy wanted to double check his position and he was LOA (on my left with his back to my belly). So within half an hour he had managed to swirl all the way around, I'm pretty sure that's "good movement". 

I just have to keep reminding myself that being here is best for Matey and that it's good practice for when thePirate goes back to fighting and looking for bombs. It's only a month (or more, or less, depening on when Matey decides he's "done") and I'm sure once thePirate is in the field and not sitting at home without me I'll feel better about not being there. 

Stupid hair-cut

So before when Pirate had beautiful hair (3 inches long on top and only short enough to not get yelled at on the side) people didn't really pay him much attention. But then they started talking seriously about promoting him to sargent before depolyment, and since how he's in for another 3 years promotion would be good, so he cut his hair in the ugly normal military fashion to win brownie points.

It worked. Two days ago he's made "Team Leader" which is good I guess because it shows people trust him blah, blah, blah but now he tells me that he has to be back at Ft.Lewis 1600 Saturday to oversee something because he's the Team Leader. That's 4pm for normal people. So now we're leaving for Idaho Friday night after he gets off of work and he'll pretty much have to do an exact turn around to get back here on time.

I'm blaming his stupid haircut, I never even heard of this Team Leader position until his hair was gone and now it's screwing up my plans. That's just SO much driving for him... stupid haircut.

I'm done now.

While Matey seems to have realized that my bladder is not a pillow and I can now last more than an hour without going to the bathroom, he hasn't stopped growing. The weight of him pushing down on my pelvic bone/uterine/whatever-is-going-on is highly uncomfortable and I'm hungrier than ever.

Because Pirate will be gone for half of April and I'm planning on birthing in Idaho anyhow we're heading over this weekend and there's still quite a bit to do. ... Well I guess there's not much that I need to get done, just wash and pack my own clothes, but there's stuff that only Pirate can do and while he's cute he's also very busy (has been made a task/group leader which is like being sargent without a rank or pay change) and is a boy and theres only two days for him to get it done before I leave.

I don't want to leave, or rather I want to be back already: have Matey on the outside and be home with my husband.